At ROI Strength, we talk a lot about resilience – not just in training, but in life. Today I want to share a personal story about pain, fear, and how understanding the brain changed everything for me.
Because if you’ve ever felt stuck, fragile, or afraid of your body… this is for you.
Where It Started
I was 34 years old, married, and raising two daughters. I was mostly a stay-at-home mom and taught group fitness classes part-time (a job I absolutely loved). I loved being active with my girls. Life felt full and good.
Then the hip pain began.
It progressed into a severe sciatic flare-up that stopped me in my tracks. Walking felt like fire shooting down my leg. I could barely move. At my worst, I could only lie on my stomach with an ice pack just to make the short trip from my bed to the bathroom.
I felt scared. I felt depressed. And those emotions stayed with me longer than the initial injury itself.
The Cycle of Treatment and Fear
I spent six months in physical therapy after the initial onset, followed by two more years of returning for every flare-up. Each time symptoms appeared, I reacted with alarm, frustration, and urgency. Fix it. Stop it. Make it go away. NOW!
During one of those PT visits, I was introduced to pain science – and it completely changed my perspective.
I learned something shocking: Pain is not just a signal from injured tissue. Pain is an output from the brain. The brain can create real pain even when the body is structurally okay. I’ll repeat that. The brain can create real pain even when the body is structurally okay.
When I first understood this, my symptoms disappeared almost immediately. But when I returned to normal activity, they came back. Even more confusing, sometimes they appeared when I hadn’t done anything physical at all.
That’s when I realized knowledge alone wasn’t enough. I still feared the pain and fear itself was feeding the cycle.
What Neuroscience Taught Me About Pain
Research from pain scientist Tor Wager at University of Colorado Boulder helped me connect the dots. His work shows that 44 regions of the brain are involved in pain – 22 turn it on and 22 turn it off. Additionally, when pain lasts beyond a few months, it shifts into learning, emotion, and memory circuits.
In other words: the brain can make pain a habit rather than a useful output.
My original injury triggered fear. My brain paired movement with danger. Later, when stress or anxiety showed up in my life, my brain reproduced the same pain signals even without new injury.
I also discovered that certain personality traits are more common in people with persistent pain: high achievers, perfectionists, people-pleasers, and those who carry heavy self-pressure… a description that fit me perfectly.
The Turning Point: Changing My Relationship With Fear
Everything changed when I stopped trying to eliminate every symptom and started changing my response to it.
I learned a psychological strategy called paradoxical intent: instead of fearing symptoms, you lean toward them with confidence and challenge. When sensations appeared, I stopped panicking and started responding differently:
“This is safe.”
“I’m okay.”
“Go ahead brain – if you’re going to make me flare-up, then I want you to floor me! Make it as bad as you can!.”
It sounds counterintuitive, but it removed fear from the equation. And when fear decreased, symptoms lost their power.
Over time:
- I stopped monitoring every sensation
- I returned to normal movement
- I focused on strength instead of fragility
- I redirected my attention to life, not symptoms
And gradually, the pain faded into the background.
How I Think About Symptoms Now
Today, if a symptom shows up, my first thought is no longer:
“What’s wrong with me?”
Instead, it’s:
“What’s going on in my life right now?”
“How stressed am I?”
“What might I need more of – sleep, recovery, boundaries, support?”
Symptoms became information, not a threat.
Why We Share This at ROI
At ROI Strength, we don’t see people as broken. We see capable, adaptable humans.
Strength is not just muscle. It’s mindset. It’s confidence.
If you changed what you believe about your body, how would you train? How would you live?
We’ll continue exploring pain – what it is, what it isn’t, and how you can take back control of your relationship with it.
– Coach Sonia
